Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
