the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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