Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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