But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
