Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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