You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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