He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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