I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
