mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Will exercising make me less horny?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize