So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
