It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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