Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
