To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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