I think my fart just growled at me.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
