oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
