just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
