I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
