I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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