If that was your dad, he is hot
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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