im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
