In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
