just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
