pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
