Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
