So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize