he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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