honey bunches of taint.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize