So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
