I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize