yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize