Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
