you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
soo... how was my night?
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