Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
