I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
