watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
