have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
