i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
