She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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