Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize