Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
