I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize
