do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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