There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just gargled with NyQuil
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
