I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
