I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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