You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
