Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
