Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
