We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
you would pick up someone in the library
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
