Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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