let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
