Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
