C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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