Michael Bay diarrhea
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize