Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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