I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
