I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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