Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
