Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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