My entire life is one complicated drinking game
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
