Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
