we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize