The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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