I'm jealous of your bromance
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
