He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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