he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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