he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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