I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
