i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just gargled with NyQuil
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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