thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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