What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
