i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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