I CAN MOONWALK!
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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